treating your personal non-negotiables as a strict baseline rather than a flexible goal
What are your top 5 non-negotiable values in looking for a partner?
The first is mutual respect. This is a non-negotiable value because there’s no other way we can grow together without this.
Respectful unions tend to last much longer than anything less than that because everybody feels safe and secure while together.
Next is trust and honesty. This has to be another absolute necessity because they’re so powerful of a combination.
They have to be together since they go hand in hand with each other.
Trust will allow us to have some sort of confidence in each other being able to produce a certain result that we want without needing a direct interaction on the situation our partner will be able to handle.
Honesty becomes the next expectation rightfully so because we’re gonna be able to communicate.
That in itself should be spoken for already, but that communication is enhanced when we’re able to do it from a place that enlightens from an emotional standpoint.
Next is healthy communication. This deserves its own demand because it can’t be an assumed benefit.
There’s not many people that can do it at a high level. They say health is wealth.
And communication is what keeps us as a society well connected. So again, likewise, combining the two should only make sense.
Having this as a standard sets the tone in a way that’s going to be tough to beat.
We’re always going to be able to get what’s on our mind off in a way that doesn’t overstay either one of our welcomes.
Next is emotional safety and regulation. I see them more as being the byproduct of successful communication and our other requirements because if everything is satisfied, we’re gonna meet a personal value of mine. I’m someone that personally values safety, so having this be a non-negotiable would most likely be something that me and my potential partner would want in the relationship. You have to feel safe with each other to at least be cordial, and if that’s nurtured correctly, it develops to something even better—Hence the regulation part of harboring the safe environment.
Finally we’re at accountability. This is probably my favorite aspect to check for when looking at a partnership of any kind. Between this and responsibility, I choose being accountable every time. I’m expecting myself to be more accountable than my partner, although I would like for us to be on equal feelings about it. Accountability allows and signals independence within each person who has it, and the way I’m trying to move in the world only has room for highly independent assets to serve me the same way I’m able to do the same for them.
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